i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
