I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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