apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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