Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
