Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Vodka?
Forever.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
