literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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