come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Randomize
