plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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