At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
