I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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