The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
