Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
