Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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