maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
