threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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