Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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