then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize