nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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