Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
