I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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