I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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