We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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