If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
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