They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
