i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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