I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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