That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
