As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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