Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
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