If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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