We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
