so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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