Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
