found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
