I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Will exercising make me less horny?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
