Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
