My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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