He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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