I'm jealous of your bromance
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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