How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
