And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
