okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
soo... how was my night?
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