I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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