If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
