That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
