you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
