I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
