Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
