you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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