We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
