But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
