I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
