there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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