So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
