Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
