If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
