Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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