this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
