I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
