woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
