I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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